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It’s Hammer Time!

August 18, 2009

I was amazed (and highly amused) to read on CNN that former Republican House Majority Leader Tom Delay is going to be a contestant on the new season of “Dancing with the Stars.”

For those who are not familiar, Delay was known as “The Hammer” for his strong-arm political tactics, unyielding conservative ideology, and all-around take-no-prisoners approach.  Think Edward Longshanks in “Braveheart.”  Delay was actually a bug exterminator before being elected to Congress, and I fondly recall one leadership meeting where he passionately argued to us that DDT is perfectly harmless (with Dick Armey begging him, “Please, Tom, never say that in public.”)  Delay actually once told a friend of mine who crossed him, “You’ll never work in this town again.”  Yes, those exact words (I’m told).

In case you’re not familiar with “Dancing with the Stars,” it’s a reality TV show where couples composed of minor celebrities compete in elimination rounds of ballroom dancing.  Imagine the Hammer dancing a sultry Tango, and you get the picture.  As the show’s host observes, “It will be a ballroom bloodbath.”

So let me be the first to declare, in the spirit of ’80s rap-dancer MC Hammer:  “It’s Hammer time!”

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